The STD you just can’t get rid of wins again.
Oh Berman…you say what the rest of us are thinking…
This is the new owner of the Niners? He looks like somebody I would have hated in high school.
That sure was an 80 yard touchdown, wasn’t it?
The Redskins had to put their guard Randy Thomas on IR after he tore his triceps last week (AGAIN!). They filled his roster spot with Anthony Alridge… a running back.
“Oh man we lost our right guard and one of our most veteran and dependable o-line players! We better replace him with a 5’9” running back!”
They played this guy during preseason and wanted him to pan out as their kick returner, but he ended up being a dirty fumbler and lost his battle with fellow back Marcus Mason, who made the 53-man cut. With the addition of Alridge to those 53, the Skins now have 5 active running backs plus a fullback. You’ve got Portis, the former every-down back who they are now using as a 1st and 2nd down back, then Ladell Betts who is the 3rd down back, Marcus Mason is the rookie who was brought in to add some speed and youth, and then there’s veteran Rock Cartwright who is a team favorite and the special teams captain but has finally accepted that he will never be in the starting rotation for offense.
So with the addition of Alridge, you have to think that at least one of them is going to get the cold shoulder in favor of the new guy. It will probably be Mason, but that would be the *logical* choice and we’ve seen lately that logic is of no use to Jim Zorn. Jim Zorn would rather piss on logic than let it inform his decisions.
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
vagina mouth!
I’ve always wondered how the hell you can see with one normal eye and one eye that goes off looking at whatever the fuck it wants…
The hell happened to Suzy’s hair? Did Namath grab her and fuck her?
Sunday Night Whore, Monday Night Redneck
I can’t decide which opening number is worse: Sunday Night Football or Monday Night Football.
SNF has the gorgeous, sexily dressed Faith Hill singing a terrible song about football. MNF has an old redneck in bad clothes singing a terrible song about football. That would seem to favor SNF by default, but…
Faith Hill? Football? Someone clue me in to NBC’s thought process here. In a more sane world it would have gone something like this:
Director: Alright gents, we need to brew up a new intro for NBC’s Sunday Night Football. Ideas?
Writer 1: It should be something fierce and exciting. Something that captures the intensity of the game.
Writer 2: How about a battle between two groups of warriors? We could have some tight shots of their faces, sweeping shots of the skirmish. Very cinematic.
Director: Good. Good. Let’s keep going along these lines.
Writer 3: Hang on. Are we sure we want to be so violent? I mean, there are children watching. How about something nicer?
(Everybody stares incredulously at Writer 3)
Director: What exactly did you have in mind?
Writer 3: Alright buckle up because this is going to blow you away. I was thinking… Faith Hill.
(More blank stares. Silence.)
Director: I’m not sure that, uh… that Faith Hill really fits with what we’re trying to do here.
Writer 3: Just go with me here, you’ll see it. Faith can dance around in a sexy outfit and sing about Al Michaels. It’ll be great!
(Suddenly, the wall behind Writer 3 explodes and the ghost of Vince Lombardi flies out and tackles him, causing him to void his bowels all over himself and die.)
As for MNF, the thought process is much more obvious. I think it probably went like this:
Director: Alright we’re supposed to come up with something creative for the MNF intro, but I’m way too hung over for this shit. So I say we just go lowest-common-denominator and get Hank Williams.
Writer: Which one?
Director: There’s more than one of those motherfuckers??
